Habitat-Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar!

This summer, my landlady managed to empty out the old caravan, which had been standing outside our door. It had remained there, stuffed with household goods, which the landlady's removal van at the time of her move, had not been able to accommodate.

She handed me the keys and said the kids could use it. My 10 year old promptly invited a friend for a sleepover in the caravan. Soon I was inspecting it for health and safety, and promptly the friend's mum was on the phone forcing me to tell her that actually it was not connected to any electric point and therefore was going to be dark, cold and that it was also difficult to bolt from the inside.

Needless to say that the catalyst, who had been encouraging this weird adventure was the "wanting to look cool" dad who then had to pitch in with ideas about mobiles,torches, quilts etc. Soon the two boys were in the caravan with their ipods, having bid us good night.

I didn't have to wait long while trying to calm myself with self talk about not being a spoilsport and trying to let go, when we heard the door banging. A quick rush down the stairs found the boys, mobiles, quilts and all frantically knocking. When we were all safely inside again, we listened to the story-"There are spiders in the caravan!"

Why didn't you kill them was my question, to which my son replied-"Spiders have rights too, I can't drive them away from their habitat." Caravan is OUR habitat I protested in vain. Anyway, never mind...I know nobody is scared of spiders, it is just pure concern for their habitats, naturally!

I wish we could all be a bit more scared. It is not nice to hear about sharks mistaking people for seals on busy beaches, polar bears killing teenagers on adventure camping trips and deer running amok on the motorways in the cities.

Back in Chhattisgarh, the local TV channel enabled us to watch in horror the drama which unfolded after a panther entered a village. The forest officials were informed as were the district magistrate and the police. All arrived on the scene one by one. The media was there to photograph all the jeeps and white ambassadors, while this panther was trapped in a house, looking terrified and agitated (not surprisingly). The drama carried on, filmed by media crews, as the authorities kept waiting for more senior input until the sun was about to set and then the villagers took their own decision. The world watched as the villagers got the panther in the courtyard, poured kerosene on him from the roof  and set him alight.

It wasn't unusual to hear about children being killed in villages close to the forests, by panthers in Chhattisgarh. It was awful when a little girl on her way to school was snatched by the "tendua". Here was the world talking about bringing down barriers to educating the girl child. Did anybody imagine that they can be killed on the  way to school by a wild animal?

In its defense, the panthers had been driven away from their habitats due to the forest cover being eroded by deforestation, illegal mining etc. No evidence of any development though! It was indeed heart rending to watch the poor animal being burnt alive as the forest ofiicials, district administration and others watched.

Money, I dont believe has ever been a problem for Government agencies, as the crores come tumbling out of the closets. Surely they should have ways to overpower such beasts or standard operating procedures for what was a commonplace occurence. Hungry tide by Amitava Ghosh is again a heart rending story about the havoc the tigers cause in the Sunderbans while for the rest of the world it remains a protected endangered species.

While we try to invade habitats by going on arctic cruises and treks into nowhere, there are humans in the more populated part of the world who find it difficult to find a safe habitat.

Babul ki duaein leti jaa! So long Farewell!

Over the years I have fond memories of the cars I have been associated with.

The first one was my dad's first car (even though it was second hand), a bright blue Fiat. It must have been an important part of my life because I drew and coloured a blue car to win a first prize in my very first drawing competition as a four year old. Life as a four year old was wonderful and I distinctly remember the joy of standing on the front seat of the car to have a bird's eye view of the world, next to my father chattering to him as he drove around town.

The second car I remember was a steel grey Ambassador, which was bought close to my nephew's birth when I was ten years old. Well, all of us have very happy memories of this spacious Ambassador, which would house God knows how many of us, including the white haired dog (nicknamed "Bidesi kukur" by passersby), who travelled with us with his head poking out of the front left window.

When the grey Ambassador was sold at last, my nephew was close to becoming a software engineer. My dad was nearly singing bidai (farewell)songs - Babul ki duain leti jaa, jaa tujhe sukhi sansaar mile!

I recently read an article in Time magazine "Driven off the road by MBAs"- it discussed a book written by Bob Lutz, former chairman of General Motors who believes like I do, that if we want economies to grow in the real sense, make top class products or provide top class services, we should "fire the managers" and let the technocrats run the show. In yesteryears we believed that if our product excelled, customers would come. But then came the MBAs and taught us what was taught to them- how to try to get almonds for the price of peanuts!

Quoting from the article- ".... a trend toward short-term, myopically balance-sheet-driven management has infected American business."

Our parents used to own and treasure things for longer not just because the culture of incessant buying and throwing away, wasn't rife but also because things were of better quality, made to last a lifetime....because then, the shoe companies were run by shoemakers and auto companies were run by engineers as Lutz suggests should happen.

Nowadays people change cars and jobs easily. I remember treasuring my first watch, but nowadays kids have too much hardware around to get emotionally attached to anything and anyway everything needs updating and changing every 1-2 years.

Consider your mobile phone, which then became smart and then acquired a touch screen and then flattened out to enable you to do everything, while you were on the go. The VCR, VCDs, DVDs and Audio CDs and their respective players replaced cassettes and records and now everything is going to the landfill to make place for downloading ipods. Not only that, everything needs to be synchronized to each other and thus the whole lot need will need updating at frequent intervals. Not to forget the Wiis, Xboxes and playstations. God bless our planet.

Then comes rivalry between competing providers. Last week we spent nearly an hour trying to get the Storz cable to work on the Olympus stack (Storz and Olympus being top companies providing laparoscopic equipment).

So in this horde for possessing "STUFF" from all the different competing companies which needs an upgrade before it is launched.....people are buying more than they need or can afford.

Apart from how it has affected lifestyles and relationships (people have no one to talk to but have 200 friends on facebook), it has done away with singing bidai songs to cars!

House work- Mai bhi raani, tu bhi raani kaun bharega paani?

This was actually something I heard my Orthopaedic professor in Lady Hardinge Medical College, mutter under his breath, in the operating theatre when faced with lack of sterile equipment for his operation. He was referring to the theatre nursing staff and was generally disgruntled by the fact that there were so many nurses, yet none seemed competent for the job.

However, it seems a very appropriate and timeless saying about housework. I have witnessed major wars being played out in the home between mom-in-law and daughter-in-law, between sisters-in-law, between spouses, between friends or cousins staying together and so on. Somebody always begrudgingly does more or believes he or she does more until the percieved imbalance starts putting a strain on the relationship. For most people, doing housework is a thankless and endless job which has little to show for itself.

A lot of people on the other hand, will find cleaning quite therapeutic, decorating a matter of pride, cooking a pleasure and housework in general, a part of life.

I remember regularly meeting a colleague of mine on the steps of my flat as he made trips to and from his home at lunch time to have home cooked Indian food prepared and served hot by his dear wife everyday. I said to him once- "Wish I too had a wife."

Honestly, with a preschooler at home I used to struggle to find time for anything and would have liked someone to cook and serve me a meal, at least once in a while....

Going back to India and having live in help, made my wish come true. My live in help was a very clean and efficient lady, who loved my children and was an excellent cook. I remember her often, but my husband remembers her more. Domestic help is often cited as a reason people want to stay or move back to India.

I have been reminded often by my dear husband about the concept of two types of people in this world- the one half who do the work and the other half who get the work done. To me it is quite clear which half do the house work!!!???

So I have been told I don't need to do it, just need to know how to get it done. Unfortunately, my year long stay in Bahrain saw the biggest turnover of maids in my life and has made me run miles from any live in help in the house.

So any such suggestions about hiring live in help were met with a very grumpy, argumentative, suspicious and stubborn me.

However, circumstances prevailed and I had to give in. My Egyptian colleague, while betraying his own fantasies, did warn me against hiring a long legged blonde beauty to stay home while I was at work, but I had no option.

I registered (paid money to) on a au pair website to find an aupair ( meaning- on equal terms in French). Soon, I was corresponding on email to this pretty young woman (I made sure she was dark haired) who then arrived at midnight from Spain. We had no problem recognizing each other as we had exchanged photographs on email and I was soon showing her the high street in our little town. I thought she was very smart with directions until she said she had seen the house, roads and the high street on google earth. Wonder what would happen to the world without google.

Life has been relaxed with her around, contrary to my own expectations. She has been teaching French, looking for a disco, booking an English course amongst other things, while I remain a suspicious spoilt sport, but who knows I might just get used to the idea of getting work done, rather than doing it.....? Sounds too good to be true!

Small town mentality

This was a phrase often used in big cities like Delhi, when I was growing up. It is a bit like "that sounds so middle class". It was not such a nice thing to belong to a small town, the overall conviction being that people from small towns don't have what it takes, to chase their dreams with ruthless determination....possibly pushing everything and everyone who comes in the way, I would have thought.

No wonder then that so much is being made out about the fact that a lot of the world class cricketers in Team India actually belong to small towns. Though I believe their love and passion for the game rather than where they came from has brought them where they are today.

But talking of small towns, they were small towns before Indira Gandhi linked them with Doordarshan and before the Indian National Satellite System (INSAT) helped desperate housewives in small towns swoon over handsome hulks in The Bold and the Beautiful.

Before the television took up everybody's time and before the remote became the crown in the house, women had time to hang out of their balconies and solve the problems of the universe, starting with the neighbour's children, garden or pet.

This was when my brother would complain that everytime he enters or leaves the house he can see curtains moving in the house in front and can feel that he is being watched. Don't people have anything better to do? Probably not.

This was when my friend's mom in the neighbourhood would tell me that my frock needed retiring as it was too short for anyone's good or that I did not seem to have had a "head bath" today (an essential for Bengalis, wonder if it is so today).

It was also when people knew which couples argued into the night and would be at hand to mediate when the wife got beaten or was turned out of the house. If you were a couple, who were found out having some indiscrete fun in a house (the owners being on holiday and having asked someone to sleep there at night as a security measure), you could be taken to court by the "unemployed brothers" and forced to get married to make your escapade legitimate.

Pillion riding with a young man on his bike was the ultimate escapade for young girls, which if witnessed by an "uncle" enjoying paan on the roadside would mean a huge showdown at home with threats of binding matrimony for the young girl or termination of any further education for her.

Similar fate would await boys if someone in the neighbourhood (usually a spoilt sport frustrated adult in the youngster's view) decided he or she had definitely seen cigarette smoke puffing out of the young man's mouth. For God's sake- Get a life!

But with everybody knowing everything about everybody, the pluses were many. Festivals, marriages, births as well as sickness and death were shared experiences with in-built support in societies. Marriage counsellers, career counsellers, business advisors, health promoters were all free and would pop up anywhere. It would be up to you to take their advice or just smile and sit through it.

I am talking about the time when modes of communication were love letters or slips of paper tucked into people's fists, books or snacks and when the girl's longlasting looks rather than her facebook profile told you whether she was single and what or who she was interested in.

It was also the time it was customary to enjoy a cup of tea with neighbours, just like that, without prior warning or without an agenda at hand.

Then came Satellite Television. MTV and its saucy music videos changed the way young India dressed and behaved. Salwar kameez and braids became extinct while synthetic spaghetti tops, figure hugging jeans and shocks of hair covering the face in the sweltering temperatures of North India became the norm.

Today Small towns are no longer small because they are connected with the television, internet and mobiles to the rest of the world and it has opened up numerous oppurtunities. More and more corporates are seeing the advantages of including them in the big growth story. While living in big cities like Bangalore is a headache for anyone trying to get home after work in the rush hour traffic, Magarpatta (a new township) in Pune allows you to live and work in the same area.

With the world being so connected all youngsters seem to watch the same Disney channels, like the same menus in McDonalds and use the same software to upload stuff on You Tube.

I realized how small towns had changed when I witnessed the brisk business the florist in Raipur was doing on Valentines day and when I actually saw the young people in the street, atleast a hundred of them in bikes...girls clinging on, all naturally in Western wear, carrying balloons, shouting laughing creating a riot on the busy street- all in the name of Valentine's day! I felt definitely old and ancient and that was a good few years ago.

Today, being able to see the moonlight flood my bedroom and my garden or being able greet the wood pigeon on my window as I try to do yoga are the pluses of being in a small place but other than that we are all connected, are able to keep track of world events, are able to take advantage of possible oppurtunities and thus no longer isolated and prisoner of "small town mentality"!

Whether the erosion of small town communities as a result, is an essential fallout is a debate we can have in our own time. Howzzat!

Krishna-leela (antics of God)

I always enjoy reading the subtitles of Bollywood songs while watching them on television- I met you, my heart plucked up, what else do I need to live.......Nowadays my feet don't touch the ground, tell me have you seen me flying....or  Love Love Love...just a little love is needed...oh my darling, please agree to what I say..... But some are acutely funny and sound as incongruous as Sardarji Mika Singh would, performing in a Carnatic classical music concert. 

Similarly that day in the hospital, I started sounding off key, while discussing religion with a colleague. She was telling me how her wedding had cost next to nothing, because she is an atheist and had just had a registrar wedding followed by a holiday.

I found that very interesting and asked her what she had against religion. She said she did not like the fatalistic view which people who believe in religion have, and how they seem to have no control over their own lives as everything is blamed on God's will.

The karmayogi in me, jumped to religion's rescue.  I asked her if she knew what karma meant (she didn't, she thought it was something to do with mood) and went on to elaborate how in the story of what is like Bible to us i.e. The Holy Geeta, two sets of brothers are at war and one of the brothers refuses to fight against his brothers and other family. I explained how that seemed to be the starting point of the discourse by God, the charioteer.  God askes the brother to do his duty (the doing one's duty being karma) and shoot his brother.....

Well, may be I could have put it better, but the words from my mouth like the arrows from the quiver, had left their abode and I realized when I saw her shocked face- "So God asked him to shoot his brother?? I thought Hinduism was a non violent religion, so what happens, who wins the war, now I am really curious....?"

The confusion and perplexity was writ large on her face. I tried to make amends and she was pacified by having learnt what "karma" meant...a word so loosely used by the English like guru, mantra, pucca apart from garam masala, bhaji, naan, pilao, korma etc.

Quite perturbed, I then confessed to an Indian colleague about the incident and hoping to gather empathy and sympathy I complained about how wrong it sounded that Geeta was all about Lord Krishna asking Arjun to shoot his brothers. My Indian colleague then thoughtfully said that this seemed to be so only because it was not in context. Maybe I should gift a Mahabharat to our colleague.

You must be joking! I thought to myself, what with all the questions about the legitimacy of the birth of the Pandavas, a woman having five husbands, men losing their one and only wife to cousins in a game of poker....no I think her view of Hinduism is good the way it is without reading the context of the Holy Book.

After all Geeta's teachings are relevant today because it was written in Kalyug, the modern age. Excerpts are often quoted in management and self help books. That is because our Lord Krishna is God incarnated as a contemporary man. He is as cute as Brad Pitt, has twinkling eyes, is a huge flirt, is allowed to steal beautiful young women's clothes while they are bathing (Krishna karen to leela, hum karen to paap), is allowed to steal butter from the kitchen, is a cunning strategist in the war, is all powerful and last but not the least he is a favourite with women. His legendary devotees are beautiful young women....Now that is how every man would wish his facebook profile to be.

Lord Krishna would like us to live life to the full, never holding back and enjoying all the emotions, colours, seasons, tastes, smells and sounds, while maintaining the right direction. None of our Gods are saints. The saints are not Gods, either, but they help people realize their potential and thus come closer to God.

On a separate note, this incident has taught me how to make sure I talk about cricket, taxes and the British weather! So long!

Charity, Children and old age!

We had seen the dancing musical fountain in one of the famous Casino Hotels, Bellagio in Las Vegas and found it a wonderfully inspiring sight.

Yet, the jubilation in our hearts when we saw the tallest musical dancing fountain (I am not quite sure whether it was taller than Bellagio) next to the tallest building in the world (with scope to go up if anybody dares competing) in Dubai, was unmatched. Thanks to the traditional Bollywood music with ghungroo, dholak and bansuri, that the fountain was dancing to-Dhoom tana tan tanana dhoom tana tana tan..terana terana..kaise sss naino se nain milaoon sajna...

But everywhere in Dubai it was just like the fountains. Since the percentage of Indians and the Westerners is more than the locals, music at public places like malls, dhow cruises and fountains usually takes turns with English, Arabic and Bollywood....very heartwarming, I must say.

Back in the UK the theme of cuts to public budgets carries on. There is huge debate in the media about International Aid. Most people are aware that even after years of International Aid, no country's progress or turnaround can be attributed to the aid. It is more to do with the very fashionable- growth rate.

The broadcaster on Sky news was asking the question-"Why shouldnt India send us aid?" This was after he read out facts like- India has a growth rate close to 10%, spends billions on a space program, has a nuclear deterrant and has a 400 billion  defence budget, has more billionaires than the UK (many more starving people too, somebody pointed out), yet we send India "aid"?!

I wonder how many people do an annual budget presentation at home with comparisons year on year about deficits, outlays, spending on gadgets and clothes per person, holidays, education, charity, pensions etc. Would be interesting...and like the budget speech in parliament would never get past debate.... within the very few members of the household.

Talking about pensions, I recently met friends who are starting to worry about the cost of old age homes, rising incidence of dementia etc. This was more in context to the fact that they had no children to be there for them as advocates or financial managers.

I must say this is the first time I have heard a practical view about this. Most often we say we shouldn't have the expectation that our children will look after us in old age. But the very British friend's pragmatic views were that she wouldn't want her parents or in laws to move in with her, though, if they could live at the end of her garden, it would be handy...and therefore she was sure that if she had had kids she wouldn't expect physical care, yet she was worried that she would have nobody to speak for her when she would not be able to.

This is unfortunately a very real and ominous future ahead of us but is there any point worrying about it?....Not really! I think having children at least ensures you have no time to think about a future past school trips and "Take your daughter to work day".

Yes, I had to take my fourteen year old to work with me for a day to the hospital, where amongst other things like watching a baby's heart beat being monitored, holding babies, attending a video conference with another hospital for a multidisciplinary team meeting for cancer and sitting through a children's clinic, she also managed to see a baby being born by caesarean operation. Brave girl!

Outcome- "I want to do something interesting!" For instance? one may have said- but I said nothing. So long!

My take on democracy

The protestors in Egypt have been shouting for freedom! They want their country to regain the lost glory, want democracy. The movement there is being looked upon with great interest by the whole world, as the revolution seems to be a by product of modern technology and communication and is in danger of replicating itself elsewhere in the non democratic Arab world.

Meanwhile the Western world is realizing its folly over numerous things like supporting corrupt allies amidst hollow cries for democracy. Today on Sky news, one commentator said- Democracy is ok for the developed world but places like Egypt, are they ready for it? It left me outraged.

So let me guess, he means- democracy is ok for the people in England who won't take to the streets even when the bankers, British Petroleum bosses and the like, liase with politicians to make public policy such, as to fill their pockets and empty ours. Democracy is fine for the developed world of broken society and frayed families, where alcoholism on the streets is threatening to derail the NHS budget, where parts of the country exist where three generations have never gone to work and live off benefits. So these people can handle democracy while Egypt can't, a vibrant populous country of people who have to work to ensure they get a meal for themselves and their families, even as they combat widespread corruption and decay in the public system.

The so called International Community has always had double standards and till date they consider themselves a league above the rest. Slowly they will prove to the world that they can't digest democracy with all its claws and open markets just means open enough to benefit them. Soon they will admit that human rights and humanitarian aid, civil liberties and self determination all have different purposes, different definitions and different paths to what is percieved by the rest of the world.

The Crown Prince of Bahrain had once said when the popular parliamentary candidates all seemed to be from fundamental Islamist factions- "We have to have the strength to accept the verdict of the people." True, you can't go back on democracy.  If people want Shariat, that is what you asked for, Mr Obama.

I remember what my friend's mum said in the 1990s, while having a go at my friend for postponing pregnancy. "Why should you have a baby? You won't have a baby, you wont go and vote...because you are too posh to have a baby or babies for that matter and too educated and busy to go and cast your vote. Hence we have ministers like Laloo Yadav, who have 9 children, amass votes from backward castes,  minorities and the like, get huge audiences in rallies for saying roads can't be like Hema Malini's cheeks....while you crib about the state of affairs in the country in your drawing room."

We had to agree and hang our heads in shame.

Democracy is a double edged sword. If most of the population in the villages gets money to spend it on alcohol and gambling, through corrupt National Rural Employment Guarantee Act schemes, the number of votes cast in favour will be large....The party which raises most funds through industrialist's monetary support will manage to get the most votes, to come to power.... to ensure large scale fertile land take over for Special Economic Zones. These are some of the various ways in which democracy works.

Yet the other pillars of democracy need to function too. Do people have to take to the streets to ensure that the Government rids itself of rampant corruption at every step, to ensure that media is unbiased and that the courts do their job?

I remember the Department of Health, Chhattisgarh gearing up for Vidhan Sabha questions. It used to be a hectic time as each question's answer was prepared by looking up various statistics and each day the minister (a dismissed Govt doctor, who decided to stand for elections and won to become the dismissing health secretary's boss) had training sessions in what to say and how.

According to some intellectuals this was the face of democracy when the whole department was on its toes making sure they did not manage to incur the oppositions's wrath. Right to information act, likewise has in many instances been an empowering tool in recent times. Laws against domestic violence against women have ensured that women keep their peace in the house by threatening a trip to the "thana".  So democracy is always better than no democracy......but it is not a cure for all ills.